First and foremost – Thank You – you are part of a very small group that is taking time to read, skim, scan this. And for that I thank you and hope it is of use. And if it is, feel free to share.
I was challenged on two fronts recently – one the timeliness of my communication, and second the inability to be heard.
My inner dialogue: “I’ve worked as a shelf stacker in the local supermarket and industrial trainee programmer for the council, through to CEO of retirement villages and Head of Managed Services operating across 6 time zones delivering data analytics and cutting edge Artificial Intelligence engines. I’ve been led and have led highly functional teams working across international borders delivering million dollar projects…”
I felt angry, I felt offended, I felt upset, I felt I have failed.
Lots and lots of negative ‘I’ statements.
It made little difference that I’d received multiple emails thanking me and complimenting me on a job well done, on a clear explanation and for being transparent. It’s so much easier to find fault, to use passive aggressive language for intellectual ‘entertainment’, to champion your own agenda by belittling your peers, your opponent.
“how people treat you is their karma; How you react is yours” – Wayne Dyer
Our only control is over how we feel and how we react. We can never truly understand the impact of what we say, unless in a safe space we ask. In the good old days it was about empathy, now it’s more about emotional intelligence. To be truthful, it’s about respect and chasing down what is quite often a breakdown in communication and a gap or misinterpretation. Sticking your head in the sand or throwing stones is not going to help.
The international convention this year left me with some amazing takeaways, but in particular one from the World Championship of Public Speaking contestant interviews. They explained they’d transitioned from competing against each other, to recognising that winning is becoming the best version of yourself – they even confessed to giving each other hints and tips on how to grow their speeches and delivery. In my opinion that made them all winners – to have that realisation was transforming.
I was once asked what I got out of Toastmasters and I was quoted as saying “Toastmasters has proven a great eye-opener and has given me a voice to share my enthusiasm and passion with everyone, whilst helping them to free their inner voice and build on their confidence in leading others.”
If I believe I have a voice, then why is it that others don’t?
I can’t be sure, but perhaps it’s the same blind spot I had when I first became a Toastmaster. I joined a struggling club – in less than a couple of months I found myself on the club executive of a club with only a handful of members and not much experience. I knew no more than what was shared with me by disillusioned exiting members, multiple manuals and handbooks to assimilate, four plastic crates of stuff and no external help. I believed our club truly was a satellite left in orbit to slowly decay and the only resources were those of my new found colleagues, left on the club executive.
It was a couple of years before I discovered what ‘going beyond your club’ actually meant. Attending my first District Conference was absolutely my Damascus moment. So many experienced Toastmasters, so many willing to share their knowledge and experience, so many ideas to try, so many opportunities to share my own ideas to see if they had been tried before… Ooops – I spoke up… Then came Area Director, and again, and then Division. Membership of a few more than a few clubs… Some call it a Toastmaster Tragedy.
What I learnt very quickly, were the ‘Levels of Service’. The fundamentals of why our organisation is Member led, and how as you grow with our organisation, your sphere of influence grows, but only as you take your members with you, and you step up to the accountability of your position. What do I mean by this? The first level of service is as a member upholding the promise you made upon joining, a shared commitment with your club and all its members. Those fortunate to be elected to the Club Executive are the next level of service – and not only do you take on the responsibility of running the club, but as President and VPE you now take on the voice of your members as you represent them at Area Council meetings. Then comes Division Council meetings, District Council Meeting, the District Executive Committee Meeting, the Trio, the Region and International Officers, the Annual Business Meeting, and the Board.
Information flows up and down this chain, with the gates being the dates and regularity of the meetings. Regular communication in the form of the Leader Letter from Toastmasters International and the District Newsletter… and feel free to pick your social media feeds. But as I am sure you know, everyone seems to have a social media presence, email and phone number – and it is the want of lots of individuals who believe they aren’t being heard or that the process is too slow, to skip a level or two – and that can sometimes work. Particularly if it is a measured and informed request. But all this within the boundary of the governing documents.
Some I know feel there are too many protocols, too many rules, and that this stifles innovation. But these ‘blockers’ exist to protect all members and to ensure everyone is heard – they are based on the fundamental belief that to understand and be regulated in a similar way to that of government and large corporations, is to give us the skills and knowledge when we take this understanding ‘beyond our clubs’.
So many, including myself, joined Toastmasters to become a better speaker – but I am confident in the reason I stay, and that is to be the best version of myself by helping others do the same.
I hope that you always find your voice, and use it with respect, You know you are trying to do your best, don’t forget those around you are as well.
I leave you with this anonymous verse:
Words are seeds that do more than blow around
They land in our hearts and not the ground
Be careful what you plant and careful what you say
You might have to eat what you planted one day
My thanks to you all for your continued service and resiliency.
Kevin Broughton DTM
Program Quality Director 2022-23